Ladies and gents, mommas and daddas, boy moms, girl dads, singles and folks who are just plain up in the air, let me say only this: Guard Your Hearts. The latest news about Kobe Bryant and his sweet daughter, as well as the seven other passengers, dads, moms and daughters themselves, has got me, like you, feeling all kinds of ways. Every time I think of it I wonder how the families effected by such an enormous tragedy can ever hope to bounce back. They never will I suppose. Their lives will forever become of series of new normals and first-time-evers, all over again. This got me thinking about an article I wrote a while back about a dear friend who actually suffered a “broken heart-heart attack”. We’ve all heard of the great tragedy of dying from a broken heart, however, it’s not made up phrase just to add a touch of drama, its real THING.
A “broken-heart- heart attack” is most often times brought on by a sudden collapse of the spirit. Or in layman’s terms - stress. The medical term for this condition is called BHS for Broken Heart Syndrome or more technically; stress cardiomyopathy. 90-95 percent of patients with BHS are middle aged or postmenopausal women who have suffered what they believe to be a heart attack following an episode of extreme emotional stress. The condition is recognized by severe, acute cardiac symptoms like chest pressure/pain, shortness of breath and a general sense of impending doom.
It surprised me to learn that upon immediate evaluation, patients with BHS are initially thought to be having massive heart attacks. However, the changes on the EKGs are not typical for a heart attack, nor are the cardiac enzyme tests to confirm a heart attack. Most of these patients, not excluding my friend, do not have the blockage of coronary arteries that are seen in most heart failure patients. On the contrary, their arteries are pumping along just fine.
That said, patients with BHS are - without question - in a state of life-threatening heart failure and require aggressive cardiac care due to a “ballooning” of the left ventricle apex. The Japanese have labeled this type of heart condition as Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy - which means Octopus trap - for the large balloon-like appearance on the left side of the heart.
Suffice it to say, there are days when I myself feel like my heart is going to explode. Perhaps my left ventricle apex - at those moments - is in fact ballooning out and waiting to burst. It saddens me to think that may actually happen one day, but I also find great relief in knowing the cliché I have been using for years is actually a scientifically accurate one.
People with BHS can and do become critically ill for a period of time following an emotional meltdown. Critically - as in - might die. It’s a fact not just a metaphor. All of my adult life I have viewed the term “died of a broken heart” as a very poignant and poetic way to label someone’s heart failure, never really considering the profoundness of the why or how. But now, after seeing someone close to me endure BHS and knowing exactly why she went through it (a nasty argument with a loved one), the only thing I can surmise is how very, very fragile our mortality is.
It’s hard to say why women suffer from this condition more than men. Do we as women love too much? Too hard? Too recklessly? Does worrying about everyone else’s feelings and perceptions of us come into play here? Do we take things too personally or carry grudges for a few minutes too long? Do we empathize too much? Or is the very nature of our fixer-upper attitudes just too much for one woman to be alone with? Does putting our very spirit into everything we do, and everyone we cherish, actually, in the end, harm us?
368,000,000 hits on Google later, all fingers point to YES. Every psychotherapist on earth has an opinion on the topic and self-help books abound, outlining everything from where to go to get your inner-sanctum on, to how to have a “wrinkle-free” Wednesday and when to drown your love in chocolate. All of this hocus pocus is aimed at women. The long-suffering love mongers we are. I have never, not once, ever seen my husband or any other man in my life, put hands on a self-help book. Ever. (have you?) But here we are, letting our hearts fly, risking BHS at every turn.
There are a variety of causes for BHS, like the death of a loved one, a bad break-up and even fear of public speaking. (side note: staring down the barrel of a loaded .44 is surprisingly not on the list). A surge in adrenaline mixed with our trouble-making estrogen hormone, add some epinephrine (stress hormone) and you have yourself a nasty cocktail of cardiac poison that can not only shatter your dreams but may also lead to congestive heart failure.
The good news is, once a person suffers from BHS it usually doesn’t happen again. It’s as if we only have one good heart break in us. And the symptoms can be completely reversed…never to surface again. So you can patch up your achy breaky heart and actually move on.
While BHS is not preventable there are some things you can do to avoid it all together. According to Dr. Ian Smith in his book “Happy” - yoga is a great way to calm your core. Any kind of exercise at all rates as beneficial. The release of endorphins can bring on a whole bunch of zen and that alone can help keep your heart strong enough to leap over life’s hurdles. Surrounding yourself with positivity as opposed to people and things that drain you, is another very good idea. #done
Taking things to heart…not so much.
For me, I plan to continue “living out loud” in the words of the insightful Holly Hunter. Loving much, laughing often and hopefully living longer. It’s risky business, but I’m all in, heart wide open. In the past year alone, I have seen so many people who inspire me, leave this earth, and so many more of them fight so hard to stay. And you know what? They all have one very specific thing in common; they’ve lived their lives to the very fullest in every way shape and form, no fear and always, always in the great #mambamentality of the late Kobe Bryant. No boundaries. No BHS.
